


If it ain't broke...

by peet4paint



Category: Glee
Genre: Knotting, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peet4paint/pseuds/peet4paint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Puck have sex.  With Puck's 'special' dick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If it ain't broke...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anonfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonfangirl/gifts).



> For river, more now than ever. 
> 
> Yes, this is knotting fic. Thus, this is AU. This lives in the crazy land of me and river's minds where Teen Wolf and Glee exist on the same plane.

"What, precisely, is that?" Kurt asks, poking at the extra flap of skin around the base of Noah's erection.

Noah runs a hand over his penis, tugs at the excess skin. "No fucking clue. I just wake up on the morning of my eighteenth birthday, and there it is. You mean it's not supposed to be there?"

Kurt looks down at his own very normal erection then back at Noah's. "No," he says, drawn out. "No, it's not supposed to be there." He steps closer, bends down to look at it. "The part of this I can't quite comprehend is how you didn't wake up screaming when your penis changed. You seem to have quite a lot of affection for it. One would think, if something _grew_ on your penis overnight, you would maybe, oh, go and see a doctor about it? Maybe?"

"Doesn't feel any different," Noah says with a shrug. "Figure, it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Kurt sputters for a bit, then thinks very seriously about putting an end to this, here and now. But really, it's not like he'll get this chance any day. Noah is feeling curious and Kurt himself is feeling rather adventurous, far more so than he feels on the average Sunday afternoon.

And nothing will happen to _Kurt_ as long as Noah wears a condom.

Mind made up, Kurt grabs the lubricant from his dresser and starts preparing himself. From above him he hears a groan. He thinks for a second that Noah's penis is actually starting to hurt, but when he looks up, Noah's looking down at Kurt. Presumably at Kurt's fingers. In Kurt's…

Kurt feels himself flush.

"I… I'm ready," Kurt says, slipping his fingers out.

Noah goes to replace them with his erection. Kurt presses a hand firmly to his chest. "Uh uh. No way. You aren't taking a ride on this boy without protection." He grabs the condom from his dresser, tears the wrap, and rolls it onto Noah's erection. "Proceed," he says, leaning down against his forearms.

"Geez, fine," Noah says, but it doesn't come out nearly as snarky as it was presumably meant to be. And then there's blunt pressure at Kurt's hole.

He hates this part. The beginning. The part where he can't stop his brain from thinking it's going to be too much, it's been too long. But after a second of Noah not moving, Kurt's body relaxes on its own. When Noah finally starts to slide in a second later, Kurt opens up for him like the two of them were made for each other.

Noah's good at this, good at telling when Kurt's ready for more, when Kurt's ready for faster, harder. He's good at finding the right angle, at shoving in _just_ far enough to send Kurt's body flying.

Kurt's mouth starts then. "Oh. Oh yes," he says, as Noah nails his prostate. "More. Please, Noah. I need…."

Noah wraps a hand around Kurt's penis. Usually Kurt doesn't like that, can't stand anyone's hand on him but his own. But Noah's hand is… perfect. He strokes the shaft, thumbs the head, all almost gentle. All a barely there touch, a ghost caress, but coupled with the insistent in-in-in of his penis into Kurt's body, it's enough to make Kurt's head spin.

And then Noah's hitting Kurt just exactly right and twisting the head of Kurt's erection _just_ enough and Kurt's coming with a scream.

He rides the wave of pleasure for a minute or so, Noah's continued use of his body sending him into another rush of it. And then Noah's grunting behind him, shoving in farther than before, farther than Kurt's ever had someone inside him before.

And then Noah's penis starts to grow.

"What—" Kurt shrieks, trying to pull forward, pull away. Instead of Noah's erection coming out of him, it only seems to make it lodge farther in. "Noah, what on earth is that?"

"Jesus," Noah says sounding almost more frightened than Kurt, if that's possible. "Jesus, it's, like, growing or something."

"It's, like, growing or something," Kurt mimics. "It's growing _in me._ You think I can't tell it's growing?"

"Jesus. Jesus fuck. What the fuck is wrong with my dick? It just keeps…"

Kurt's about to ask, 'it just keeps what?' but then he feels it. On the outside of his body, thankfully. A very sticky, very familiar wetness, escaping the edge of the condom. "Are you still coming?"

"Uhn," Noah answers, a cross between a response and his continued pleasure.

"Seriously?" Kurt asks, because no. Just no. Noah has a monster penis and they'll have to go to the hospital to get separated and there is _no way_ he'll be able to look _anyone_ in this _town_ in the face again. Ever. And _Noah's_ still coming.

And then Noah shifts inside him.

Kurt's body is stretched _too_ wide. His overabused hole is far too open. But for some reason, between the way Noah's body keeps minutely twitching and the way Noah's erection is once again squarely on Kurt's prostate, Kurt finds himself growing hard again.

"Um," Kurt says, trying to think of words, words about how this is a bad idea, how this was a bad idea in the first place, and then Noah's tug-tug-tugging them until Kurt's sitting on Noah's lap, legs splayed wide around Noah's thighs.

"God," Noah says, right into his ear. "Crap, this is crazy-good."

Kurt's about to remark on his inanity, when Noah _undulates_ beneath him, and suddenly Kurt cannot so much as draw a breath. And then Noah does it again. And again.

It feels like Kurt is flying. Like there are fireworks going off in his brain. Like he's hearing Lady Gaga live in concert.

Kurt flies on the most perfect high he's ever felt for an eternity, and then, suddenly, Noah's shifting just a bit harder, and Kurt comes without being touched.

He must black out for a minute, because when he comes to, Noah's pulling out of him.

Kurt bites back a whimper at the loss.

"So, guess you were right," Noah's saying, pulling off the condom and looking down at the wetness covering his thighs. "Guess I'm gonna have to see a doctor."

"Well, on second thought, I'm not at all certain about that. Your penis seems perfectly acceptable to me." Kurt very carefully avoids eye contact.

"You think it's okay?" Noah says, running a finger over the base of his penis, still slightly swollen.

"I'm sure it's just fine. And you never know what will happen at the doctors. You know, that's how Michael Jackson died, and he was only one of a vast string of medical mistakes. You never know, they may—" he stops, makes a chopping motion with his finger.

"You think they'd chop my _dick_ off?" Noah says, covering his penis as if in self-preservation.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't risk it." Kurt looks at what he can see of Noah's penis and very carefully doesn't think about how, if there's a hell, he almost definitely will be going there. "After all, if it ain't broke…"


End file.
